I had a discussion with a patient at work this week about whether more people are just open with talking about infertility or if infertility is actually on the rise. The CDC shows a decline in infertility overall in 2012 compared to 1982. I am always skeptical of information especially statistics. First, the question is where was the information gathered. Many insurance companies due to not pay for treatment for anything related to infertility. Therefore long after I was diagnosed with infertility, my doctors for several appointments would still coded for painful menstruation, etc. Therefore this could very easily skew these results if they are just tracking diagnosis codes.
Whether infertility is on the rise or decline, it does not matter to those of us walking this path. I am so proud to be part of this community of strong men and women sharing their stories of infertility. There is so much information out there and a lot of it is contradictory. The greatest thing that I have learned through infertility, adoption, and reading over my blog tonight is do not be intimidated. Be on the offensive not the defensive. I have met with the same fertility doctor that I love 3 times now. I have not pursued any infertility treatments with him. The first time was for a second opinion and was over 20 months ago. He reviewed my case with my husband and I and gave us his recommendations that IVF was the only option for conception that did not put me in medical risk. The second and third appointments I took questions written out about information that I had gathered, asked about my diagnosis, asked for his statistics with IVF and live pregnancy, and had a meeting about cost and coverage with his manager. We still have not called nor are planning to schedule anything and he sends follow up letters and answers my phone calls promptly. This is the sign of a good doctor. I am a physical therapist and I strive to treat my patients the same way. Even if I have not talked to a patient in a year and they come in, I look up there information and answer any questions I can. This is proper medical care.
I had white coat syndrome. I did what doctors told me. When I asked questions my original doctor and his staff shunned me and my husband. So I backed off thought I was needy. Where did it get us? Having emergency surgery. There are a lot of doctors out there and unfortunately in the infertility world that are taking advantage of situations. Find a doctor, agency, lawyer, support system, etc all that you feel comfortable with in your pursuit to have a family. Share this information and your story with others. You have no idea the people you can impact and save them some heart ache. Reading back over my blog it seems like a bizarre dabble in heart ache and surviving. It does not seem like it has been my life but as I sit here I know I am happy because of the people the reached out and connected themselves with us through happiness and tragedy. Thank you to those people that have been there, understood, and are still standing by us through this journey to hold our child.
"A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality." John Lennon
