Baby Shower Part 1: To have or not to have

Among other things that are debated among adoptive families, baby showers are also a topic of debate. To have one or not to have one. I take the same stance as I have with the nursery. If you personally want a baby shower or adoptive shower DO IT. This is your time to shine as an expecting mother. You can have anything you want, well within reason. With all that being said make sure you know and understand the situation you are in. Every adoption is different. If you are adopting an older child this might be a great time for them to meet and be welcomed into the family, if you have been chosen and are waiting this might be a time to decide to do a shower once baby arrives or before.

As a mother, I was so excited for my shower and luckily I had two amazing friends that openly asked and started planning. In the recent weeks of waiting for Baby Aiden and all of the harsh realities and nightmares that have entered in and out of my husband and I's mind. I also began to realize why people wait even after they have been chosen. This is the part that is different for adoption. Even after you have been chosen, you are planning your life for a family with a child. You have to be careful how set you get with a specific child. For example, with us right now we are planning name, clothes, etc. for Aiden. Aiden who's new due date is March 25 for all those concerned of why he has not arrived yet. (that is another story for another day). Even though it is great to plan, be very careful. You want to be able to use all of the things you have purchased, made, planned, etc even if this adoption does not go to completion.  God has other plans for you! I thought I would be all good and tough but as we have waited more I realized if this adoption did not go through I would have a hard time looking at all these items the same. No matter what you decide, clearly I decided shower which was wonderful, make sure you enjoy your time being showered with love for your family. It is truly wonderful how many people support adoption and want to know more and be more involved. That has been the most touching thing about this experience so far. Thank you again to all the friends and family that have continued to support us. I know so many of you are dying with questions about Baby Aiden and here is the update that I have so far. The due date was moved from March 3 to March 25 quite a while a go but we were not aware of this. Baby Aiden is not super over due but hopefully will be right on time. Everything is still as scheduled and birth mother and father are planning on us being at the hospital during delivery (if we make it in time)!

Everything is a go and we will hopefully be posting about Baby Aiden's arrival as the next blog post! 

Baby Shower: Part 2 WE HAD!!!!!

AND HERE ARE YOUR HOSTS: CHRISTINA AND DREW

What an amazing themed shower. Christina and Drew planed a love/ Valentine's themed shower for Baby Aiden. It turned out amazing. When I walked into the venue I was in awe. And the whole rest of the party left me speechless! It was such a privilege to be the guest of honor at such a beautiful themed shower! 

Table Decor

 

Decorating Table

Papaw Mark had to come make a onesie and make it manly!

This should read Mom because I have an amazing husband that will probably being doing more than most (once turnaround is over)

My favorite the dessert table!

We had a photo booth and now all of the quests pictures are going to hang in Baby W's room to welcome him home in just a few more days!

The day was amazing filled with gifts but more than that love. I got everything that I could have ever wanted or dreamed. There were so many one of a kind and hand made gifts. Which I love any item made with a little extra love. Thank you to all of my friends and family that have made this adoption journey a blessing. Thank you to Drew and Christina for all of your planning and expertise. It was a day I will remember forever! 

What's Infertility like?

So admist all of the adoption questions, I also still get questions especially after the blog about infertility. A brave woman asked me the other day... "What is it like to be infertile?" She was not being rude. She explained that a good friend was struggling to conceive and she did not understand what she was going through. 

I thought about it for a little bit and this is what I said...
Do you remember the scandal a while back about the girl who was 16 years old and was getting baby ads through Target. The dad got mad at Target and then it turned out they had very correctly marketed and she was pregnant. Here is the article. Anyway, they use your debit card purchases, checks, etc to formulate ideas about products you like, your stage in life i.e. pregnant, single, you have children and then they market by sending ads related only to the products you would most likely need. When this article came out I remember thinking I bet I really screw up their system. 
This is what I was buying at the grocery store... and yes typically all at once because I did not want to admit defeat and have to make another trip to the store to buy whatever I actually needed..

If walking up to the checkout counter and buying tampons, pregnancy tests, and ovulation kits does not scream YES I AM STRUGGLING TO GET PREGNANT. I do not know what will. This is a pretty funny situation looking back on it though. 

Anyways back on topic, this is the story I told the curious woman. I said as confused as Wal-Mart marketing probably was, my body was more confused. Mentally and physically, you are wondering which end is up. Right at the time that you find out "welp I am not pregnant this month" is the same time mother nature blesses you with tears, irrational anger and sadness. Infertility feels like something wrong, you do not feel right in the check out line or in your own skin. 

In the telling of this story, myself and the curious woman had several laughs and several serious moments. That is how infertility should be too. If you are struggling with infertility and have not found a way to laugh at something anything you are going through, TRY. Start with something small that is not related to the situation and then build from there. There are also times to be serious. Make sure you take the time to be serious and reflect on everything you are going through. This is a great time to include your partner and find out what they are feeling too. Keep it brief. One of my favorite things is 5 minutes of sadness or anger and then pick up the pieces. 

I hope this helps anyone going through these issues and anyone trying to find a way to talk to a person struggling with infertility and understand how they feel. 

Aiden update: Today is his due date but he is yet to make an appearance or even attempt to descend into the birth canal so we are still waiting. I will let you know soon!