The Beginning

We are so excited to start blogging our journey through adoption. All along this process, I have been journaling. I have so many topics that I cannot wait to discuss. I hope that this blog can help keep our family and friends updated throughout our journey as well as educate the world on infertility and adoption. So here goes nothing! 

Jason and I were married in July 2010. It was a glorious week of parties and excitement. Anyone that is our friends will still hear us talking about our wedding week.  

So me being the anxious woman that I am after about 8 months, we decided we wanted a family. At the time I was a daring 25 years old at the time. I already felt like my clock was ticking and it was time to get started. I had so much to learn over the next few years. This is the part where the brutal honesty begins so feel free to skip ahead. The first year we tried was definitely the most trying for me. I have always lived my life in control. If I wanted to have a baby well by golly I was going to have a baby. All of my friends around me became pregnant or at least that's how it felt. I spent a lot of time angry at people for the most ridiculous reasons. I am such a happy, easy going person so to feel this way towards my friends was new and upsetting. After a year of struggling, I visited my ObGyn. We did a sperm analysis and everything was normal. We also did a hysterosalipinogram (HSG) testing. No matter what they say this test is uncomfortable. The HSG showed a potential R fallopian tube blockage. My L fallopian tube had clear flow and appeared unblocked. We were then referred to a infertility specialist. I brought a disc with the HSG. The infertility specialist reported that he believed my R fallopian tube was not blocked. He said we would try a few medications. I cannot even remember the names. I would give myself a shot(Ovidrel I think). I also took oral medication for 5 days. We tried just with medication assist for 2 months without any results. My ultrasounds showed that I was ovulating on both sides normally and had normal size follicles. The infertility specialist said the next step was Intrauterine Implantation (IUI). We did 2 rounds of IUI that were unsuccessful  then the third round was successful. One positive pregnancy test and a big secret later, I went the hospital and had blood work confirmation. YAY! We are pregnant. I was told to continue to get blood work every 72 hours for another 3-4 times. One the third blood work, my lab value was about 200 points away from the goal value. The fertility specialist office called and told me that there was a probability I did not have a viable pregnancy. After 22 months of trying you can imagine our devastation. Jason had to cancel his trip to his brother in laws bachelor party and stay home with me. Thank goodness, I have a wonderful, thoughtful husband because I started to have my miscarriage on Sunday. I was told there was nothing to do but wait. I was in severe pain. The worst I have ever felt. Something was not right. I was able to get an emergency appt Monday morning where it was confirmed I had an ectopic pregnancy that had engulfed my entire R fallopian tube. I went in for emergency surgery. They were able to save my R ovary but not my R fallopian tube. At my follow up appt 4 weeks later, my surgical incisions were never looked at, my name was not remembered and while looking at my chart my "specialist" states "oh yeah you are the girl that I said your tube was not blocked guess I was wrong." To say the least I was done with the fertility world. I can only imagine pain that women feel after years of these conversations, procedures, and money lost. We waited for a while and then were able to get an appt with another fertility specialist Dr. Jarrett in Indianapolis, IN. This appt happened to fall 1 day before my birthday. I received a diagnosis after review of the original HSG, he believed I had essentially diverticulitis of the fallopian tubes on both sides and I was not safe to continue with anything except IVF at this time. (this is the cloudy portions in the testing rather than a smooth flow of the dye)

Dr. Jarrett knew that my husband and I were not interested in IVF at this time and he gave us time to discuss and said he would be in touch. Dr. Jarrett really gave a face to fertility treatments that left me with a calm in my soul finally. 2 weeks after our appt we received a hand written letter with specifics about our discussions, treatment options, cost options, as well as a kind notation saying that he supported us even if we did not choose IVF at this time. It was at this time we decided that we were ready to diverge away from fertility treatments. I can truly say this is the moment where our hearts felt at peace. It is the first decision we had made in 2 years that was not made in desperation to have a family but rather because it felt right in our hearts. (This is not to say IVF is wrong in anyway I know some amazing families from IVF it is to say each of us are called and our calling was towards adoption)

There are a lot of other treatments that we tried throughout our two year cycle, many that I will touch on in other portions of the blog but the main purpose of this blog is to share our story from infertility now the to the fabulous decision of adoption. So here is the big announcement.... WE ARE ADOPTING. 

Our agency is Family Choices in Charleston, IL http://familychoices.net/ and our lawyer is Kiersten Bays Crouse in Charleston, IL as well. We have started the basics turned in our portfolio (next blog post). Classes start this weekend and home study should be completed this week.

Thank you for sharing in our story, please do not be afraid to share this blog and our story with anyone you know. We have no doubt God has a plan for us, our family, and our story. We hope we can touch people throughout our writings and process.