Thirsty Thursdays

Happy Thursday! For everyone that read our last post, you know that biggest part of this blog is to educate people on the ups and downs of adoption, infertility, and family life. So, we figured what better way than a few fun facts every Thursday rather than one overwhelming list. One of my (Nicole) patients, a pastor told me that he only discusses one topic per week between church sermon and bible study all cover the same topic because it takes about a week for people to be able to process and incorporate it into their lives. Therefore, I will follow in his footsteps! 

FUN FACT 1

Adoption is a verb not an adjective. 

This was one of the best AHA moments that I had when reading an educational book. When I was in college we learned about people first language. For people that may not know me, I am a physical therapist. People first language means that you never tie a disease as an adjective to a patient's name. For example, when discussing patient care I would not say the low back pain patient instead I would say the patient with low back pain. This is done to preserve a person's humanity and identity; not allowing them to feel like their is disease, disability, etc is their whole being. It is the same for a family and child that has been adopted. A child is a child, our child , your child, NOT an adopted child. Adoption is a legal, binding process that happens once. We would never or should never refer to other children as natural children, fertility children, the same is true for child of adoption. This is something that I did not even realize I was guilty of as well. We are all learning here so don't feel bad if you catch yourself just change the way you are thinking and saying. Together, we can help children (and people for that matter) regain/find their individual identity.

FUN FACT 2 

Send your prayers but don't be scared for us! 

The questions most people ask me about adoption is aren't you scared that "the parents will take the baby back." The first problem with that statement...we will discuss at another time. Second, nation wide about 4-17% of adoptions are not completed depending on the source you reference. When our wonderful lawyer and agency met with us, we asked what our risks were in pursuing adoption. In the 8 years that our direct social worker has been doing adoptions there has been 1 adoption that was not completed. The mother decided after the 72 hours that she was not going to sign the adoption papers and that she would independently parent. Our agency places about 27 infants every year. This seems like enough information for us to feel protected. If this situation would arise, we will mourn our loss but know in our hearts that God has a plan and a baby for us. It's all about perspective. Divorce rates rise in the United States but I still believe in the power of marriage. Adoption IS 100% successful if you stick with it. Those seem like pretty good odds to me. Thanks for continuing to send us your thoughts and prayers. 

FUN FACT 3

This is not what surrogacy is like (although awesome movie)... adoption isn't like the movies either :)

Feel free to comment with questions, fun facts, or other concerns you have.