"Just Say No" but is that the right choice for adoption?

D.A.R.E has been empowering children for years to say no to drugs. Rightfully so, I might add. So, much to my

surprise on our matching sheet there was multiple questions about birth parent drug use both mother and father, as well as drug exposure and drug addiction in infants. Jason and I immediately responded no to all drugs, to alcohol we marked stopped once she was aware of conception, and for tobacco we wrote uses on occasion. I went and met with our lawyer and she began to explain so many things that I was missing. Of course, Jason and I wanted to keep open every door possible but at the same time we want to make sure that we are able to provide an environment safe and appropriate for the infant coming home with us. After talking with the lawyer, I went home and hit the books, the internet, and the phone. I called and spoke with a neonatologist in Indianapolis and spoke with our choice of pediatrician locally. I looked on pubmed and read numerous abstracts regarding drug exposed and drug addicted infants. I decided to list out the basics of what I have learned from the numerous resources. I apologize that I have not linked a lot of the information because honestly I got so deep that I forget where information even originated from. 

Here are some fun facts and resources...

A. The difference between drug exposure and drug addicted is simply the amount of times the infant is exposed to drugs, alcohol, or tobacco in utero. I believe our agency said drug exposed would be 3-5x throughout a duration of a pregnancy, drug addiction is typically 1x per week or more. Either a drug exposed child or drug addicted can go through withdrawal symptoms. Typically, the umbilical cord of a drug exposed child would demonstrate significant less toxicity than a drug addicted infant. 

B.  "Ira Chasnoff, M.D., the nation’s leading researcher of the outcomes of children who were prenatally exposed to drugs, comments that many foster and adoptive parents have gone through long periods with difficult, drug-exposed infants who have eventually become well-adjusted children.

One of the strongest indicators of a positive outcome in children are the child’s caregivers. A recent study by Bergin and McCullough in Infant Mental Health Journal followed babies whose mothers had used substances and babies whose mothers did not use substances. The prenatal drug exposure did not play a role in how the babies attached to their primary caregiver. What did play a role was the nurturing, stimulating and stable environment of the babies. Care giving does make a difference in helping children reach their maximum potential for learning and socializing." Adoption Connection

C. There have been numerous studies conducted to understand the effects of cocaine, heroine, marijuana, opiates, tobacco, and alcohol. The Future of Children breaks down the effects of these drugs from the research over the lifespan of children. Read it in detail, it is honestly fascinating the things you will learn that will open your eyes to available infants that can thrive in your care. 

D. Really B is the most important item on the list but this one just rocks my world so I am going end the knowledge with this quote. It really set everything into prospective for me and put my mind at ease while filling out the matching profiles. "One of the key factors is the type of drugs the mother used. Surprisingly hard drugs like heroine and cocaine do not present as serious problems as legal drugs as as alcohol and tobacco." Adoption Connection

So, what can we as adoptive parents do to not only protect ourselves and future family but also to protect our children?

1. If you know that your child has been drug exposed or addicted make sure that you have a pediatrician that continues to follow your care and has good awareness of these effects. It is okay to bring research with you to the doctors office or to quiz your doctor to make sure that you are seeing someone that can best provide for you and your child. 

2. Get help early! If your child is not hitting milestones seek out early intervention services sooner rather than later. If problems demonstrate more when the child is of school age make sure that you have a proper support system through school counselors, tutors, and psychiatrists if needed. Make sure to read the information about what medical history to reveal and to whom on the Creating A Family website to protect your child's history and allow fair assessments throughout school. 

3. Research before you say yes. I obviously have not been in this situation yet and can not imagine after waiting to say no I am sorry we cannot accept this child, but you want the best welfare for the child! Once a tox screen has returned and you have all the information research some more and make sure you are comfortable with the effects of the drugs that are in this child's system. 

4. Not everything is caused by drug use. Do not blame ADHD, autism, or any other disorders that your child may develop in the future on drug use. So many of these disorders unfortunately do not have a place of origin. It is not fair to you as the parent, to the birth parents, or to your child to hold blame in this way.

5. You can have umbilical cord testing as well as blood testing at most hospitals. Ask your agency and they can arrange this for you if it is your desire. 

6. Request an evaluation by a neonatologist at the hospital. They are experts and have seen multiple cases. They are able to explain better more individualized expectations for this particular infant. 

For even more ideas check out the 12 tips to adopting a drug exposed infant!

There is a good amount of research available for a variety of types of drug exposure and addiction. Do the research, make sure when you are looking at research it is comparing infants that returned to their drug using parents verse adoptive families. A lot of early research is skewed because it grouped all infants together and did not look at environment. 

One last item of note. If you adopt a child that had been drug exposed or addicted; they need to know when they are at an age they can understand. Research shows that these children do not have a higher liklihood of addictive behaviors but what is innocent experimenting to their friends can quickly lead to an addiction for them especially if it is the drug that they have already withdrawn from prior. One use immediately targets the "feel good" zone of the brain that was stimulated in utero. Any type of experimentation is not okay for your child and you need to coach them to make the best decisions by giving them all the information. Talk to your child early and often!